FEEDBACK SAMPLE
"The Twickenham Murders"
The director of The Twickenham Murders wanted to receive honest feedback for his independent short film.
You can watch the film below and read a sample of the feedback the filmmaker received below, or you can read the feedback in Excel.
FEEDBACK #5
Age - 34
Gender - Female
Profession - Technician
Did you like the film?
Sort Of
Anything you'd like more of?
For me, it felt like an entire story was crammed into a 14 minute film. Which a story can of course be told in any amount of time, but it seemed that there could be so much more that could be hinted at and nuanced into the film. The story was very good, but there was too much left to digest and not enough that really influenced the watcher’s attention until the climax of the film at the end.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly liked? (Please list and explain)
I really like how Clyde, who actually committed the crimes, knew Oliver’s name from their first conversation, without Oliver actually introducing himself. That really gave a subtle nod to the fact that the kid was targeting Oliver from the beginning. I also really enjoyed the fact that Oliver consistently slept and woke up in the same clothes, showing that the obsession with the murder(s) was taking over his life (aside from the obvious, of course). The end of the film was also a nice twist, and a well plotted one on the antagonist’s part – it was especially cool to see the take on the “blood on his hands” bit that is both literal and figurative among the final scenes.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly disliked, or felt didn't work? (Please list and explain)
The hole cut out of his shirt was, for lack of a better term, too obvious. And not even specifically or the viewer, but for the protagonist – Oliver puts on that shirt and doesn’t realize there is a large hole in the back? I realize that that might have pointed to the direction of obsession on his part and not focusing on anything else, but it seemed too lackadaisical even for him. It also sort of appears on his back in the morning, where up until that point he had been wearing the same shirts and pants for days. A more subtle hole would have fit the twist ending much more, in my opinion – perhaps the end of the shirt, or under the armpit, something that isn’t so obvious until he puts the pieces together. Also, fully understanding that film equipment is very expensive, the wobble when the camera is panning is very distracting and takes away from otherwise suspenseful moments and beautiful scenery.
Were there any moments you felt annoyed or frustrated by the movie? (Please list and explain)
The wardrobe change to the gray shirt happens in the middle of the night – after Oliver throws away his pills and before he wakes up, that ends up being crucial as planted evidence. I’m just not sure that is something that should be glossed over; how did Clyde get access to that shirt? It seemed too serendipitous that he wore the very same in the end.
Were you confused at any given time? (Please list and explain)
I’m not entirely sure I understand the pill scenes. What part do they play in Oliver’s investigation, or downfall? Were they keeping him from being focused? Or were they what held him in place until he threw them away and boldly entered the lion’s den? I think they play a significant part, I am just a bit confused on what part that may be.
How would you rate the following elements? (1 to 5)
Please explain your rating.
The Beginning
2/5
Reason
There was far too much emphasis on the park at the beginning of the film. While interesting, it seemed vague, and I didn’t garner much interest in Oliver’s obsession until a few minutes longer into the film.
The Ending
4/5
Reason
This was very well done. The blood on the hands, the realization of the setup, and everything coming together right down to him calling 911 on himself was captivating and emotional for the viewer as well as Oliver. There was much left to be realized on Oliver’s part, in regards to Clyde and the “why” aspect, which drew intrigue to the story so much more.
The Music
5/5
Reason
The music was perfectly timed to the scenes, did not overpower the voices of the actors, and fit the genre of the film very well. I was highly impressed with it. The swelling of the music even corrupted the suspense when appropriate, and was not overplayed at all. I really would consider this a highlight of the film in itself.
The Pace
3/5
Reason
The pace was a weird vibe for me. It seemed as though it was too slow but yet too rushed all at once – specifically, it seemed like the story itself was being told way too quickly without enough time to digest why or with whom the viewer was invested, while also spending a lot of time on the park where the murders occurred (because, in my opinion, the bodies are a segue to Oliver’s obsession, not the people who were murdered themselves) and Oliver’s waking scenes. There was a bit of lopsided emphasis on what gave meat to the story. Interactions between Clyde and Oliver should have been more lengthy, because although quick and suspicious was understandable, there was really nothing that tied them together – why Oliver targeted Clyde as the main suspect made sense, but that wasn’t really a convincing reason vice versa.
The Story
4/5
Reason
The concept of the story was very good, and for the most part well done – it had a clear idea of what it wanted to say. The characters were a bit shallow, but conveyed intentions very well, and the ending was a good twist and done excellently. I wish there was a little more that invested the viewers into it’s characters and their progression through the film, but the story itself had clear intentions that made it enjoyable to watch and interesting to follow.
The Drama
4/5
Reason
The drama was good, albeit a bit more investment into the characters provided would have driven the suspense of the film up more. The investigation into the murders on behalf of Oliver despite the assumption of suicide on both people gave a good amount of drama that intrigues the viewer as to why he would be so invested. The music played a really good part in creating drama too, especially during B-roll scenes, and was artfully done.
The Characters
3/5
Reason
There is a lot of pressure that’s held on the characters when there is so few of them. Therefore it’s hard to build a story on the backs of only two people, especially when they’re enemies in the film, and a short film at that. I think the issue a lot of filmmakers run into with this is exactly that – finding the right amount of depth each character can convey without making it too much information. There was a good amount of dialogue here that prodded the story along, even within only two conversations – but I might argue that in the consequence of trying to be subtle about the twist ending, you have fallen just a bit short of explaining why the two are pitted against each other specifically. The concept behind the two was very good in theory, and with a little more information on both of their ends could make this from a good story to a great one.
Any other comments or feelings about the film?
I liked it overall! There were a lot of good moments and I really found the ending interesting. There was something I felt was missing that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it held up well and told a good story.