I’ve already mentioned pacing issues and I don’t want to double down on those too much, as I doubt you’d find it helpful. But I do want to point out that you barely give your audience a moment to breathe after the reveal of Jennifer’s mother’s suicide before you have Arthur also talk about Jennifer’s own. I’m not overly mad at this as I think sometimes you want to keep your audience completely off-balance. But I did find issue with showing a shot of Jennifer hanging in the studio. Not because of the graphic imagery but just because it shows her in the studio. Showing that makes it feel more real, and gives your audience less of a reason to question it, I feel. I think it would have served you better used after the reveal of the mural, just giving your audience those last couple minutes to keep questioning on their own before they’re given any more answers. 

In regards to your opening, visually, it’s great. You clearly have a sense for knowing what will look good on screen and the direction and cuts in this opening sequence are also very sharp. But I feel that you did yourself a complete disservice through how you scored the scene. This is a recurring issue I had during your film, but I want to highlight the opening in particular as it is what sets the tone for the rest of your film. I’ll say again, that the visual direction for this opening is great. So good that it can speak for itself. Your choice of theme here is an extremely heavy and overstated piece of music. It definitely screams horror. But, I don’t think it works for a slow introduction like yours. Had you played this scene mostly silent, only with the sounds of the clock ticking and the pencil shaving, it would have been much more ominous. In a psychological horror, I want to be able to think for myself and hear myself think. I don’t want to be screamed at and told to be scared. 

The score then goes on to use noise, the classic thuds that audiences now find synonymous with drama. For me, the use and the timing especially, of this effect ruined the shock of that first shot of blood. I wanted to be thinking to myself “WTF?!” but the score normalises it. In film, themes should be used to underline and highlight the action on screen. But certain visuals can do all by themselves and I found your score to dilute the scene, not highlight it. 

I also had this same issue again following the “They’re waiting for you in my studio” line. In general, I found this shot a bit too on the nose. Jennifer’s reaction here looks like Arthur’s sentenced her to death and the, again, overstated music supports that. Yes, it’s a horror and yes, we know something bad is going to happen in that house. But does the character and do you need to leave absolutely no question of that? 

Final point on sound and the score. It often blocks out voiceovers. The voiceovers aren’t well mixed enough to stand out against the score. And it’s such a heavy, bassy bit of music that, for me at least, it made whenever it crossed over with a voiceover (fairly often) to make the voices sound mumbled and unclear. 

Last point, although a bit of a big one again, the use of the main hospital room. As I’ve said, when we have the final scene in there, it really worked in the ways it was needed to. But in every other scene it’s used in, not so much. In that first scene, Wilkins’s blood looks very fake. It’s not easy to produce realistically looking blood on white sheets. Clearly there’s an element to that presentation that’s a technical issue for the art/makeup department. But I’d argue it’s also an issue with the lighting in that scene/room. The bright light and the light blue filter absorb the red, rather than contrasting. You do improve upon this for the bathroom scene, where the blood stands out a lot more. I’m going to guess, because that room didn’t have a very large window letting in bright light, unlike the hospital room. 

In general, I do wonder if you wouldn’t have created a greater effect by using a much sharper shade of blue or perhaps a different colour entirely to fit that room. Although the blue worked very well, when walking in from a deep red hallway, scenes in that room otherwise look a bit muted. We’re first introduced to that room through a suicide (and it is a hospital) and if this were a drama, I’d say that using blue to create that sadness and empty feeling was a fitting choice. But this is horror. The audience expects death and we don’t necessarily want/need to be sad about it. During the reveal of the hospital scene, you nicely draw parallels between the pictures found there and shots of the room itself. And the room, and the blood on the bed, do not pop or stand up to the dark picture of the hospital room with the painted blood. Definitely think that could have been executed better.