"The Twickenham Murders"
The director of The Twickenham Murders wanted to receive honest feedback for his independent short film.
You can watch the film below and read a sample of the feedback the filmmaker received below, or you can read the feedback in Excel.
Age - 31
Gender - Male
Profession - Director
Did you like the film?
Anything you'd like more of?
I’d like more insight into Oliver and Clyde’s backstories and motivations and more information on the setting. I find I’m not interested or rooting for either of them. I don’t know if they’re adults or students, if they have families, or anything else. A bit more characterization(behaviors, tics, differing speech patterns) would improve the film and make it more unique. What time period? What area? I found myself distracted by these questions while watching the film.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly liked? (Please list and explain)
I liked the camera panning down into the dirty lake. The film has some great transitions and composition for the most part(although some shots were too centered or symmetrical). Such as the orange clock light against the blue tone in Oliver’s bedroom and the suspenseful scene in the lower level.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly disliked, or felt didn't work? (Please list and explain)
I felt overall, the lines and writing was a bit stiff and lacked personality. I didn’t feel like the actors were able to give believable performances because the characters both spoke the same old-fashioned way. The characters didn’t feel believable.
Were there any moments you felt annoyed or frustrated by the movie? (Please list and explain)
At times the background music didn’t match the tone of the scene. At many times there was a blue sky or a bright color palette in the scene but dark, dramatic music was playing. It didn’t work in a subversive way, it just made the film seem disjointed.
I felt frustrated watching Oliver write everything down when we saw he had a laptop many times. I assume it’s for security reasons, but if so that point could be stressed by showing that he’s a particular paranoid person. He just seemed like a regular guy other than the fact that he wanted to investigate the murders. the themes/tone of the film didn’t come together cohesively.
Were you confused at any given time? (Please list and explain)
I was confused on whether or not the news story about the snake eating itself was an allegory for Oliver actually being the murderer rather than Clyde. If so, I was confused about Oliver’s shoes and what that meant for the story.
How would you rate the following elements? (1 to 5)
Please explain your rating.
Great composition and coloring, however it seemed typical for films of this genre.
Slightly confused on how the parts all come together.
The film has some great tracks, but I’m unsure if the scores match the scene sometimes.
Fairly paced, I never felt particularly bored and some scenes did catch me of guard sometimes(the police call, scene in Oliver’s home)
It ties together well, but I’ve seen it before.
The film seems to use some well proven techniques to convey drama(lighting, music, jump scares) but because I’m not invested in the characters, the story has less effect on me.
There wasn’t much personality other than perceived good or bad. What makes either of them so invested in this story to where they need to get to this level of involvement? What makes them stand out besides Oliver’s hero complex and Clyde’s creepy behavior? They both want to save the day, but why?
Any other comments or feelings about the film?
This is a strong outline, but I’d like to see more experimenting with techniques on how to convey horror, introduce some visual and verbal patterns or clues that get the viewer interested in the story and work on the characters so that they become more unique. Even if it’s a short film and you don’t have time to explain a characters full story arc, bits of their personality will shine through and attract the viewer.