FEEDBACK SAMPLE
"The Twickenham Murders"
The director of The Twickenham Murders wanted to receive honest feedback for his independent short film.
You can watch the film below and read a sample of the feedback the filmmaker received below, or you can read the feedback in Excel.
FEEDBACK #8
Age - 27
Gender - Non-Binary
Profession - Tv Production
Did you like the film?
Very Much
Anything you'd like more of?
First of all I’d like to say this film tells a very effective and compelling story in 14 minutes, not always an easy task, especially in crime or horror. If there was anything this film could benefit from, it would just be a bit more. More time with the characters, more time to establish Oliver’s state of mind and why he’s so invested in the case. It certainly works for a short as is, but I would have really enjoyed seeing more of these characters (then again I’m a huge sucker for anything about sleuths). I also thought the cinematography and editing was fantastic. The shot towards the beginning where we see Oliver hidden among the trees and pan down to the green water did an excellent job of setting the tone for what was to come. So I could always use more of these slow, dramatic shots that help capture the stress and dread our characters feel as they deal with these murders.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly liked? (Please list and explain)
There were several scenes in this short I really enjoyed. I think the editing and use of sound was spectacular and a great way to build up tension. Particularly during the scene where Oliver hears a beeping in his home and goes to investigate. This felt like something out of a high budget horror film and gave me legitimate anxiety. Another moment I really enjoyed was when Oliver entered Clyde’s house. This felt like a moment from Zodiac or True Detective where our hero steps into a creepy old house and we’re unsure whether or not they’ll live. I thought the use of the frantic caged bird was very effective.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly disliked, or felt didn't work? (Please list and explain)
The only moment for me that sort of bumped was when Oliver was on the street and noticed he was being followed by Clyde. This could potentially be fixed through the magic of editing, but as it stands, it reads as if Clyde is *very* close behind Oliver, and yet doesn’t see him slide behind a hedge. This was the only moment that stretched believability for me.
Were there any moments you felt annoyed or frustrated by the movie? (Please list and explain)
No, I never felt annoyed or frustrated. The story made sense, as did the characters, everything felt natural!
Were you confused at any given time? (Please list and explain)
While I wouldn’t say I was confused, I believe the reveal at the end could have been a little bit clearer. Basically from the time Oliver drops the phone and opens the closet through the end, we have a very nice montage revealing that Clyde has been tracking Oliver and Oliver is likely the real killer. For me, this “oh shit” moment only really landed upon the shot of Oliver’s back with a fragment of shirt missing, and the last shot of his face as the horror washes over him. These are excellent shots that help tie the story together, and I think putting them slightly earlier in that montage might let the audience know the truth a hair sooner. I believe this might make the twist sink in with the audience a bit more before we cut to black. But either way, a very effective twist and end to the film.
How would you rate the following elements? (1 to 5)
Please explain your rating.
The Beginning
5/5
Reason
I was immediately struck by the pacing, the editing, the music, and the effectiveness with which the story was laid out in these first few minutes. We meet our central character, establish several of the motifs that are used throughout (voiceover, shakey cam), and most importantly, it kicks off a compelling story VERY quickly. Great beginning.
The Ending
4/5
Reason
As mentioned in a previous point, while I have no problem with the ending story-wise, I believe the final twist could be a bit clearer for the audience. There was very little time for the shock to sink in before we cut to black, which is an effective choice in itself, but personally I would have preferred to watch Oliver put the pieces a little bit longer and let the reality of his situation sink in. While his confusion is certainly central to the plot, I just think the twist could land a bit more clearly for the viewer.
The Music
5/5
Reason
The music in this is fantastic. The low, mournful strings in the score did a great job of setting the tone for the film. Another example of the excellent editing throughout.
The Pace
4/5
Reason
This movie flowed very well from one scene to the next, never really dragging on for too long. There are some places, however, I believe could be touched up that might make this really sing. For example, the montage of Oliver doing research on his computer, or as previously mentioned, Oliver & Clyde’s walk to the park. The pacing of the film is great overall, but there are a few small moments I believe could maybe use one more pass.
The Story
4/5
Reason
The story in this is solid and easy to follow. After the cops find a body, things unfold similar to a standard crime/detective drama, with our main character canvassing for clues and racking his brain to find the truth. Given that this is an indie film, I think it’s rather impressive they were able to pull off a detective story – there’s no police precinct or interrogation room needed to tell a compelling story.
The Drama
4/5
Reason
I felt surprisingly tense while watching this movie. Some of the cinematography and editing choices created this really compelling sense of dread that hung over everything, and I really got the sense we were in the middle of a big murder investigation. Furthermore, I mentioned previously my favorite scene of Oliver walking through his home in the dark, set only to the sound of his washing machine beeping. This scene REALLY escalated the drama for me and captured Oliver’s anxiety about the case. When he opened the washing machine and all the sound cut out, I audibly gasped, it was like something from A Quiet Place. I thought the drama in this film was consistent throughout.
The Characters
4/5
Reason
As previously stated, I definitely would have liked a little bit more time to establish these characters. However, I realize in a short film, time is not exactly a luxury one is afforded. As it stands, they are effective to drive the plot forward, but I don’t know all that much about them. We learn in the intro that Oliver has been taking pills of some kind, which we return to later, but there are relatively few character beats like this that ground these characters. While they talk and behave as realistic people, they could be given a few more dimensions to their character if this story were to be expanded.
Any other comments or feelings about the film?
Overall, I really enjoyed this film. The story was tight and effective, the cinematography, music, and editing were filled with interesting and unique choices. Really great job!