FEEDBACK SAMPLE
"The Twickenham Murders"
The director of Chromophobia wanted to receive honest feedback and get a deeper understanding of how the viewers interpret his film.
You can watch the film below and read a sample of the feedback the filmmaker received below, or you can read the feedback in Excel.
FEEDBACK #5
Age - 26
Gender - Female
Profession - Graduate Student
Did you like the film?
Yes
Anything you'd like more of?
There was really any thing that I wanted more of that stuck out. If anything it would be less music.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly liked? (Please list and explain)
I really liked all the moments, but the strongest one would have to be the scene where things start appearing in the drawings, because it lets the audience see it and make the connection before pointing it out. Overall the pacing was too consistent to really think of the film in separate pieces.
Were there any moments/scenes you particularly disliked, or felt didn't work? (Please list and explain)
I think the montage of her being in the attic staring into the mirror with Arthur behind her was a little hyped, but it was cooled off by having a nice drop in music afterward. It was sort of like a last chance to spook the audience moment.
Were there any moments you felt annoyed or frustrated by the movie? (Please list and explain)
The music is really the frustrating part for me. I found it very distracting, overused, and really generic at times. It kept the pace of the movie up and constant and didn’t really allow the piece to breathe. It sort of made the film like a 13 minute trailer. I could tell that the movie itself seemed pretty finished, but the music just felt like it was rushing it along and trying to hype up the horror whereas the action on screen was already pretty solid. Lowering it in sound mixing to barely in the background of the characters interacting, removing it in some, and not changing it as often would have really given the audience a chance to try and settle into the film before being unsettled. For me, it just constantly reminded me that I am trying to watch a horror film and felt pretty distancing.
Were you confused at any given time? (Please list and explain)
I was never confused the plot was straight forward but not boring.
If this film was going to be expanded into a feature film, what part of the story would interest you to see expanded most? Please explain why.
Its actually hard for me to pick out which pieces to expand. The story as it is seems pretty sewn up. If everything were getting extended and there was still time left, the scenes where Arthur is beginning to get under Dr. Haver’s skin (when she is alone) could be increased. Another logical avenue is to continue after the last montage when Dr. Haver realizes that Arthur is drawing her own death and she overcomes her skepticism to try and stop it.
How would you explain Arthur's character?
He seems at times aware of his ability, but at others to be exercising it. In the last exciting montage he appears behind Dr. Haver in the mirror he seems malicious in his intent to make her death happen, but at others he seems to be withdrawn to the fact that it happens. So by the end it is hard to tell if he does these things intentionally. Which isn’t so bad, because sometimes not knowing is a good thing. He also seems genuine in his belief that the colors cause bad things as from the beginning Dr. Haver claims she saw no signs of her patients intent to kill himself. Arthur’s ability also seems tied to the studio as that is where he drew Wilkins suicide, and after Dr. Haver visits it, he draws her suicide.
How would you explain Arthur's powers and what part of his power would you like to see more of?
I answered a lot of this on accident in his character description. I think that his power set being ambiguous is a good thing. If you pay attention you can figure out rather he is causing or recording the deaths that he is depicting in the drawings. I also feel that his studio is a part of is abilities. He drew about Wilkins there and directs the doctor there, and then starts drawing about her suicide there. His powers are enough in this short, but if it were going to get expanded to a feature film I will like to see it be ambiguous rather his power or her mind drives her mad.
What do you think is happening with Dr. Haver's character?
I think her patient’s unforeseen death left her vulnerable and whatever is working with Arthur is creeping around the edges of her consciousness trying to tip her over the edge.
If Arthur's character were a figment of Dr. Haver's psyche and Dr. Haver was actually a patient — would you find this to be a predictable story twist?
As it is, it would leave some plot holes in the film. The orderlies interact with Arthur while she is in the room, especially when they remove him at her behest while he is drawing. Her colleagues don’t say anything about the mounds of drawings she would have to be creating and toting around, et cetera. I think the twist would be very Shutter Island, but also too close to ‘it was all a dream’. Shutter Island is very enjoyable through out and it’s intent is to make the audience realize for themselves that the main character is a patient, and at the end the patient makes choices that leaves his awareness of the situation unclear. To just snatch the wool from over the audiences eyes and say “She was a patient all along” would ruin the film for me really.
Is there a direction the story might go that you would suggest would be very unexpected?
I think it would be interesting for somewhere along the rising action of the film that Dr. Haver has some clues that say that the drawings might look different to different members of staff. Later this could be made clear by a staffer coming to her for advice. This would make her question herself (adding to that break with reality shes gonna have eventually), but also wonder if she is the only one being affected or is everyone else or if all of them are being targeted. The thoughts of losing her job and becoming a patient her self would cause her to make LOGICAL but bad decisions about keeping her suspicions to herself. Leading the audience to think that Dr. Haver is going to face some evil creature, but then having them struggle to decide who the villain is (Arthur, his abilities, or an entity in the studio) and how they are attacking (Is Dr. Haver a reliable character? IS she following the entities plans? Is everyone else?). At the same time, Arthur puppeteering everyone against her would be a little predictable, so everyone having their personal madness would leave Dr. Haver and the audience feeling isolated. These are all just suggestions for a larger film. It is pretty good for what it is now. It has a good mix of psychological and physical horror. I guess I could say it reminds me of Oculus, in that it wants to make the character’s mental state a part of the horror and the protagonist has attacks from both themselves and outside forces. Ultimately, don’t just lock her up in the asylum in the longer film and have her have to escape and clear her name: that would be very predictable. Even if she ended up succeeding in clearing her name or hanging in the studio, it would be predictable.
Any other comments or feelings about the film?
Altogether I enjoyed it. I think I would have been more into it and could have critiqued it better if not for the music, but everything else seemed good.